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 “You’d
like him, Ethan. He
was a lot of fun when we were younger.”
“Uh
huh.” Noncommittal,
he answered in a flat tone.
Jesse
lapsed into silence, sensing she walked a thin line.
Still, she couldn’t let the subject rest.
There had to be a way to convince Ethan that Clint
wasn’t a threat to his stability.
Until she achieved that, she couldn’t just let go and
let him harbor hate. Clint
didn’t deserve it. Cautiously,
she ventured, “Horses could be a lot of fun.”
Ethan
snorted.
“You
might give it a try. Something
new and different. It
can’t hurt, at any rate. If
you don’t like Angel, well, then you’ve at least given it a
shot.”
He
tossed his controller in front of him, his interest in the game
lost. She braced
herself for the inevitable, knowing full well, whatever came out
of his mouth next would hurt.
“Give
it up, would you? I
don’t want to know him. I
don’t have to like your friends.”
“But
Ethan-”
He
scooted away like she’d cracked a whip in his face.
“Enough! Don’t
you get it? I
don’t give a fuck about him.”
“Ethan
Scott!”
“What?
Too crude for you, Jesse?”
She
flinched, drew in a deep breath and held it.
Jesse.
He hadn’t called her by her first name for over a year.
Exhaling slowly, she set her controller down and slid off
his bed. Though she
knew in her heart, too many years of pain drove his emotions,
the barb stung. On
the same hand, she’d pushed.
Ethan couldn’t tolerate pushing.
He had to come to things on his own time.
Foregoing
the lecture, she crossed to the door.
“Goodnight, Ethan.”
He
said nothing. Merely
picked up his controller and set the options back to one-player.
On
a heavy sigh, Jesse left his room.
Inside
hers, she clicked on the lamp by her bedside and reclined
against her pillows. Tears
brimmed in her eyes. She
closed them to keep the salty flow at bay and curled her fingers
into the sheets. In
a thousand years, she never would have imagined that the only
man she’d ever truly wanted would be Clint.
In his arms, she felt safe.
Protected. Undefeatable.
He lit her up in ways she had only begun to comprehend,
and it seemed as if fate determined to work against her.
If
she weren’t careful, she’d lose Ethan.
Every agonizing step she’d made would crumble under the
weight of his fears. He’d
close up, inevitably turn back to the life he’d known before
he entered hers, and she couldn’t stomach the thought of where
that would lead him. Jail,
if he were lucky. Dead,
if he wasn’t.
Yet,
shouldn’t she be allowed some personal happiness as well?
There were so many unwritten rules to parenthood –
sacrifice for the children, put all personal goals aside, give
up everything to see to their happiness.
She’d exchange her life for Ethan’s in a heartbeat,
but Clint offered something no child could.
Even if it was only temporary, and this giddy feeling
that brimmed in her soul would end when he left, he promised
fulfillment of a need that ran so deep she couldn’t name it.
A
tear slipped between her eyelashes and trickled down her cheek.
She sniffled to hold the rest in check.
She never should have let him kiss her a second time
tonight. The first
had been catastrophic enough.
The second…
She
wouldn’t be satisfied with anything but all of him after that
second kiss. Instinct
demanded she leap at what lay in front of her.
Hang on to it until it burned itself out with his
inevitable departure. Logic,
on the other hand, warned her that if she did, she’d lose the
one thing that mattered most – her son.
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